Girl Loves Geek, Geek is Blind -- the jester-in-exile's rehash for kimi2hotty

(I must say, while writing this rehash to kimi2hotty's email, I'm squirming on my seat. Not because of the content -- I'm over that haha -- but because of the idea that I just might get a bit more teasing from the likes of Doc Tess and company.)

This next rehash is a reply to kimi2hotty. This is what she had to say (paraphrased, of course):

Dear Jester,

Let me first describe myself: I'm in my early twenties, working in a call center in Ortigas.

I stumbled on your blogs on the Raptor/Trinity series, the The Ten Women a Geek Should Date post, and the Before Sunrise post , and I think I'm right in hoping that you have the inclination towards romantic notions to help me with my problem.

You see, I'm sort of into this guy in our technical department, and he's a nerd -- I'm talking the sort who can build a computer from scratch, can write computer programs in his sleep, hangdog looks, and little-boy naivete. Don't get me wrong; he's such a sweetie, in a Train Man kind of way, but he doesn't know I exist. I'm sure it's not because I'm not pretty -- I mean, I get a pretty good share of date invitations from other guys, not that I'm bragging or anything.

I'm hoping you can give me advice on how to get his attention, how to get him to like me and all that. I mean, it's not exactly good for a girl's ego that the guy she likes would refuse invitations to lunch and spend his lunch hour with his buddies playing games at the PC rental.

Thanks in advance, kimi2hotty

(I shudder that there are people who think I am a romantic. Cripes.)

But fine, whatever -- let's give the kid a chance.

***
In the initial answer to kimi2hotty's email, we assumed that she had what I referred to "normal schemes of getting a young fellow's attention" (not to mention that I was a bit short with her -- sorry na hehe). I suppose some of my fellow geeks would want to know what these schemes are, given that not too many of us get to many of us experience them.

As one can infer from the email, one of them would involve asking the geek in question (let's call him something: let's call the fellow Procopio) to lunch, or even as innocuous as "uy, samahan mo naman akong bumili ng lunch, o" (batting eyelashes optional - weh). See, such an activity would be viewed by even the most gynophobic geek as nonthreatening; what such a geek would not sense would be that the small talk and conversation on the way to the Ministop or the Jollijeep (assuming that someone like kimi2hotty would deign to get lunch at a place so "yuck, so baduy ha") would be our kimi2hotty's method of intelligence gathering. Typical information that one such as kimi2hotty could be able to find out from Procopion with such an activity would be stuff like where Procopio's from, where he goes to after work, where he hangs out, and other stuff. Such data that would be useful for kimi2hotty to make plans that would likewise seem nonthreatening, thus making Procopio's refusal to be less likely.

One strategy that kimi2hotty in her email implied she already had done was for her to get Procopio to help her with technical stuff. Given that technical support is Procopio's job, it would be one way to make sure that the two would have some form of interface, and yes, some form of visibility to Procopion would be in kimi2hotty's best interest. Now, what kimi2hotty did not understand was that because that was part of Procopio's job, kimi2hotty would be nothing more than furniture to him (even if the task involved getting under her desk, with kimi2hotty in her best and shortest skirt; he'd appreciate her legs, but since he can't exactly stay under her desk forever the most that will happen would be his filing in his head images for future use).

(No, ladies, us geeks don't generally do more than look -- as we don't lose the ability to think despite the sudden loss of blood flow to the brain due to a sudden rapid southward motion, we know that we're better off with zero-risk scan-record-file instead of lawsuit-potential "tsansing". However -- and for the record this is purely imaginative on my part -- if kimi2hotty asks a geek for help during a holiday night shift schedule when there will be few other people in the office, I am fairly certain that kimi2hotty would leave talon scarring on her desk from all the tweaking the geek would be doing on her LAN port; one could even go as far as to say he would be enthusiastically burying his face into the task at hand, geeks being known to be absorbed into their work for hours and hours without coming up for air. That is, of course, if kimi2hotty had successfully got her geek's attention.)

Unfortunately, however, whatever "diskartes" our heroine's tried, she still hasn't been able to get Procopio's attention, and this geek still prefers to play some PC game (I'm guessing DoTA All Stars) with his buddies over lunch than have lunch with kimi2hotty. Awwww, the poor girl. Haha.

***
But let's not pick on the poor kid too much and give her some ideas on how to get her geek's attention.

Previously, we said that kimi2hotty's normal schemes of getting a young fellow's attention don't work with her geek in question would be because either Procopio is oblivious or he's successfully pretending to be oblivious.

(Nope, kimi2hotty, I still will not betray my kind by explaining why this is so. Sorry, kid, ask someone else. Haha.)

Now assuming that Procopio is oblivious -- that short of putting up a billboard on EDSA you've done all you can to make him notice that you're into him -- the first thing you must understand is that YOU. DO. NOT. SPEAK. THE. SAME. LANGUAGE.

Heck, I'm not even sure if Procopio thinks that you and he are from the same planet. Therefore, the easiest methods of making sure that you get his attention (or to put it bluntly, to make him see that you exist on the same mortal plane), would be to enter his world and be comfortable in it.

As we had previously mentioned, one of the easiest ways to get him to notice you is to whup his ass at his favorite computer game -- the idea is to prove that you can hold your own on his turf. As a lot of geeks will attest, holding her own (if not exactly winning) in a game was how Miriya of the Zentraedi got young Max Sterling's attention; you must understand that only by impressing your geek will you grab his attention, and one of the best ways to impress him is to be good at something he's really good at and at the same time doesn't expect you to be good at it too.

There are many other ways, but then one thing is for certain: if it appears that one is trying too hard to impress a geek, it would probably backfire on the girl in question. Case in point: this rather geeky fellow I know has a weekly Counterstrike game with his pals, and some girl or other thought that by learning to play the game, she'd be able to hang out with him. This girl was able to get the fellow's pals to help her learn how to play CS; unfortunately, because of her Baby Spice/ "I'm a li'l princess" cutesy-cutesy attitude and the resulting irritation these geeks have with her, the fellow and her friends have a nickname for her: Target Practice.

(I doubt if that girl will ever get to be in this geek's mind in a positive light.)

***
I know that it does seem a tad harsh, but I'm thinking it will be rather unfair to kimi2hotty if we give her all these ideas, tips and tricks to make sure that she gets her geek if there exists the possibility that the geek Procopio is absolutely uninterested. See, kimi2hotty, if your geek is not oblivious but is only pretending to be, then it's possible that he is uninterested -- or worse, he considers you a waste of carbon.

It's one thing for a geek to be uninterested in some girl; there exists the possibility for the girl to change his mind. It's another thing entirely if the fellow dislikes the girl, and would want nothing to do with her whatsoever.

Here are some possible reasons why Procopio would not like a girl like kimi2hotty: she intimidates the shit out of him, he thinks she's a flirt, she's much too bubbly for his geeky tastes, he thinks that she's just playing with him... blah blah blah.

Before you even ask, kimi2hotty, let me say that I don't have a sure-fire formula for getting a geek interested in some girl he does not like; even if I did, I wouldn't betray my kind, would I?

Heh heh.

***
There exists one final possibility that kimi2hotty must consider: that Procopio is pretending to be oblivious because he is concealing his attraction for her (successfully, it would seem). Yes, friends, us geeks have skills like that too; more to the point, such skills are innate and part of our survival instinct.

This possibility adds a wrinkle to the already convoluted situation -- and from where I'm sitting, there really is no way for kimi2hotty to find out where she stands... unless she forces the issue.

Yep, kimi2hotty, I wasn't being too flippant that last post where I said you should go up to him at the end of the work week, get into his personal space, get in close, and tell the fellow "You. Me. Parking lot. RIGHT NOW." -- that would be the guts-ball way of determining if there's anything going on, and what exactly those goings-on are.

Yep, that's the bottomline, kimi2hotty -- whether your boy Procopio is truly oblivious that you like him or is merely pretending that he doesn't see it, there is no way for you to resolve this issue without direct confrontation. I presume you know that we geeks are quite like computers -- you won't get any answers if you don't ask questions, and the only time you'll get the right answer is if you ask the right question.

(See, that's why I'm wondering if she did go ahead and demanded Procopio to join her in the parking lot.)

(Haha. That leads me to wonder if Procopio went ahead and joined her in the parking lot, if kimi2hotty went ahead and did.)

(Sounds good, tastes even better. Heh heh. )

Good luck, kid. I hope for your sake he thinks you're great and not a waste of carbon.

***

The next rehash will be a more detailed answer, and perhaps a couple of explanations, to an email from Sandman, who's having a bit of trouble with being a meantime guy.

(What. An. Idiot.)

Later, all. (Repeat after me: SMART BRO IS STUPID, SMART BRO IS CRAP, SMART BRO CAN'T MAINTAIN A RELIABLE INTERNET CONNECTION TO SAVE ITS LIFE. One day soon I'm going to cancel my subscription; if you aren't using Smart, you're on the right track -- make the smart choice and stay the hell away from this fucking inconsistent service. I mean, would you be an idiot and stay with a wireless service that gets disconnected every two minutes? Let me say that again: SMART BRO IS STUPID, SMART BRO IS CRAP, SMART BRO CAN'T MAINTAIN A RELIABLE INTERNET CONNECTION TO SAVE ITS LIFE.)

(Smart Bro is so unreliable, the service might as well have been provided by government. They probably do recruit their customer service people from the LTO office, too, the kind of help they give.)

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