In the "Meantime" -- the jester-in-exile's rehash for that Sandman dude (yep, it's Rizal Day, and we're talking about a martyr)

Let's keep this next rehash from Sandman short and sweet.

Essentially, as I paraphrased his email oberdabakod, he had this to ask:

Hey Jester,

I'm a meantime guy of this girl at school. What should I do?

Sandman

This was my answer:

D-uh, you idiot. Get real, get out, and get away. Believe you me, kiddo, fewer things in life are as stupid as being a doormat, and there are girls who aren't worth your time or effort.

I'm tempted to stop here, but there just might be a few visitors who'd want a bit more amplification.

First of all, what is a meantime guy?

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Scenario 1: Girl X is the object of affection of geek Y. X knows this; unfortunately X does not reciprocate -- quite likely X goes out on dates with other guys from time to time, and does not discourage these guys from paying court to her. When X does not have any dates, X counts on Y to keep her company in the meantime; hence the term meantime guy.

Scenario 2: Girl X is the object of affection of geek Y. X knows this; unfortunately X does not reciprocate -- in fact, X is currently dating guy A. Despite the fact that she already is committed, X counts on Y for things A is not able to provide (don't limit your imagination to the gutter, people), under the guise of "friendship" or whatever, during the interim that girl X is not dating a guy with all the characteristics she wants. Interim = meantime.

There are various other possible scenarios of what makes a meantime guy, but it all boils down to these synonyms: "martir", spare tire, stupid idiot.

Most meantime guys know that they are meantime guys, but even with the knowledge they don't mind being strung along, and often try to give credence to the terms that girl X would use to describe her meantime guy Y, such as "Oh, we're just really close," "Friends lang kami," "He's just so dependable," et cetera.

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Again, Sandman, get out of there, man. Just because you like her doesn't mean it you should allow yourself to be a doormat. Let your whazzername keep on dating those Pearl Boys, but do yourself a favor, eh? I'd say that you'd be better off without those coffee and conversation sessions she asks you for; it's simply because your conversation is insightful while whazzername's li'l Pearl Boys can't put two words together, let alone two coherent thoughts, that she keeps you around -- quite obviously she's looking for the best of both worlds, and if she finds that in someone, you're toast.

That's why you're a meantime guy: she's keeping you only for the meantime. Nobody deserves to be strung along like that, you know.

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On the other hand, one of my blockmates had this advice to give to meantime guys: "Milk it for what it's worth." Rather cynical (but I can see how this might appeal to some) -- and it may apply to you, what with whazzername and you getting it on from time to time.

Or just maybe you're a meantime guy twice over; your li'l whazzername doesn't get good conversation and screaming-hot boinking from them Pearl Boys she's dating? Or maybe the boinking is the hook by which she's stringing you along?

Whatever, man. To whazzername, you're just no more than a good book with great vibes that she can put aside when she finds something better. Live with that, or don't.

Your call.

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Hoo boy. Talk about answers easy to say but rather hard to do.

Anyway, next on deck will be the rehash of poor li'l Befuddled's email... remember him? The "cool and confident fellow" who's losing in his pursuit of girls against his geeky competition?

Haha. See, what the fellow doesn't get is that the problem lies mostly with him.

(Or maybe, just maybe, there is a significant population of women who make the phrase "girls love geeks" more reality than illusion.)

Stay tuned, folks. I'm leaving in a couple of hours; see you back in chaos central after a few days.

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