Being Cool Ain't All That -- the jester-in-exile's rehash for Befuddled

A bit of additional background for those already familiar with this letter we're making this post about: not a few of my geek friends and girl friends say that this about our this fellow Befuddled:

Effing serves him right.
Awwww. Poor Befuddled. Heh heh.

***
In this post we are doing a rehash of an answer to an email from a call center shift lead in his mid-twenties, whom we have decided to call Befuddled. To paraphrase his email:

I'm not being mayabang by saying that I've always been considered cool and confident by my friends, and I'm not a slouch in the looks department either (which I think comes through especially because I dress pretty smartly).

My problem is this: ever since high school, every single girl that I really liked and had been able to get close to somehow ends up with some geek or other, and not me. I mean, you should understand, you being a geek -- I don't understand how some sloppy, socially-inept guy would end up with the campus crush instead of a decent-looking guy she can be proud to show off?

I'm not disrespecting you or other geeks, you understand -- I just don't understand why it seems to me that these days, girls love geeks.

Befuddled

Yep, my fellow geeks and I are not exactly pleased that who are supposedly socially-inept rejects of society do have on occasion the possibility of dating some really cool girl.

However, we're cutting the fellow some slack and we'll help him the best we can.

(Hey, we may be socially-inept rejects of society, but at least we ain't greedy.)

***

In our previous answer, we had this to say:

First off, let's dispose of the issue of whether or not, generally speaking, "girls love geeks."

Short answer: to the best of the jester-in-exile's knowledge, not on this planet... hell, probably not in this universe. See, Befuddled, few geeks elicit the human female's reaction I've learned to call HASSAG.

HASSAG is shorthand for Half-Second "Shet, Ang Guwapo".

To amplify the HASSAG phenomenon, we must picture a sudden encounter of practically any sort between a human female and and a human male of above average looks and/or sex appeal. The human female in question, when suddenly faced with this good-looking human male, will have this half-second or so in duration deer-in-headlights reaction that consists almost entirely of the thought-bubble containing the words "Shet, ANG GUWAPO," or some variation thereof (everything else, such has her physical -- contained or not -- reaction to this hypothetical good-looking fellow's sudden appearance is just detail).

To repeat: few, if any, geeks elicit the HASSAG reaction, Befuddled, and (as disappointing it may be to my fellow geeks and I) the catchphrase "girls love geeks" is no more than wishful thinking.

This means that the resaon you aren't getting any must be something else entirely.

However, there's something that we must point out to our female friends out there who are interested in one of us geeks: more often than not, a geek who spots a HASSAG reaction from the female companion he's with (quite obviously, the HASSAG reaction is directed to someone else, some passerby or other) will very likely lose interest in this companion of his (assuming, of course, he had some level of interest in the first place). Since most, if not all, women are prone to the HASSAG reaction, this may explain why a lot if geeks lose interest -- few geeks would want to endure the company of some girl or other who puts physical appearance at a premium; after all, geeks generally don't.

***
And so to continue the rehash:

From the tone of your letter, it seems to me that because of the physical attributes and social skills you have been blessed (?) with, Befuddled, you just might be approaching things in a way that may guarantee your failure.

Let me tell you a story, which might illustrate one possible reason why you're failure rate with women is, to put it politely, fairly high:

A long, long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away, when the jester-in-exile had yet to be exiled, the jester-yet-to-be-exiled had a fairly interesting colleague in this little publication he was working for. This colleage, an smart, witty, talented, erudite, charming, and pretty life sciences student (who eventually ended up in med school) was (putsa, corny na 'to) the dreambabe of a fairly significant number of students in that galaxy far, far away.

No doubt there were attractive young men who liked her; little doubt that there were among those attractive young men who got close to her. None of them ended up becoming her beau, so to speak.

Instead, a slovenly slob of a nerd ended up with this colleague of the jester-yet-to-be-exiled... and when I say "ended up", I'm talking hitched, with kids, and blissfully happy.

How did this happen? Simple -- out of all the young men who found this young woman attractive, it was only this slob who did not allow himself to be intimidated, and found in himself THE BALLS TO TRY.

I know, I know -- I doubt if Befuddled is torpe, but hey, stranger things have happened... after all, Train Man was apparently based on real events.

***
Like I said earlier, I'm not leaning toward that theory; Befuddled did describe himself as a "cool and confident" type of fellow, and that he's perfectly capable of getting close to the girls he likes (as opposed to us geeks, who arguably are mostly oblivious and dense).

Yup, I'm still convinced that it's because the fellow, well, to put it politely, is coming on much too strong for the hypothetical women in his world is the reason why he isn't getting any.

Plus, I've noticed that a lot of pretty damn cool women prefer geeks -- and part of the reason why they're cool is that they are strong, independent women who won't hesitate to go for who they want, even if the fellow such a one likes is an oblivious geek (and especially since it would be rather rare to meet a geek who's so full of himself -- a turn-off for these goddesses we're so into).

So this is our advice to Befuddled, and we're putting it in two-syllable words so that he can understand it completely.

Grow up, dude. Whoever and whatever you are, you're not all that.
'Nuff said.

***
Our next post will deal with an email from our regular visitor Sillimanette -- which will be the first post of Ask The Jester-in-Exile that is NOT a rehash.

(On a personal note, I'm hoping that Sillimanette is indeed from Silliman University... or, to be completely frank about this, I'm hoping that she is nowhere near chaos central.)

(Answering Sillimanette's email... Gulp.)

Later, all. Happy New Year, by the way.

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